Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize