Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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