its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
