Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
