It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
