Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
