Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
