2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
