idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize