still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
