Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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