she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
