just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you win again, gameday.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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