Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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