Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?

(1-509): View more from Washington

talent.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.

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(937): View more from Ohio

There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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(904): View more from Florida

I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.

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(914): View more from New York

She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.

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(619): View more from California

FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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(660): View more from Missouri

Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?

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(303): View more from Colorado

How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?

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