I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's no shave November. This is our time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize