yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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