the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
