We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My vagina is officially offended.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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