ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
