Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
