I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
