Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize