I'm eating all of the evidence.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
