No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
