Kiss
Puke
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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