I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
