Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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