I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
