I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
