just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
