I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
