so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
