He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
