good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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