My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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