You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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