I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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