Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
