It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
