i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
