i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
