I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
