Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
