People with herpes should wear stickers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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