The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize