When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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