Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
