he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
