I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
