plz talk dirty to me
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
