Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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