i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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