mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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