Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
