If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize