she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
