The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
