sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize