i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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