Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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