Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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