Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
