with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
