You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize