That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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