YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I currently don't understand fingers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
