Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here

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(845): View more from New York

I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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(410): View more from Maryland

she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.

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(703): View more from Virginia

What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.

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(518): View more from New York

Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single

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