Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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