she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize