He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
