I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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