I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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