..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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