I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
