No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
