You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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