I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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