story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm sobbing to NWA
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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