they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize