He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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