Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
